You're Supposed to Be Bad at First

(Transcript edited for clarity.)

Hi, I'm Wes. Welcome to You're Supposed to Be Bad at First.

I really enjoyed putting this episode together because it's something that, especially if you're a perfectionist, you may really need to hear today.

Most people who know me well don't think I have much of a perfectionist problem.

There are certain things I really beat myself up on if I don't get them right.

But usually I'm willing to jump into action and take action before things are perfect.

I'm like, "I'm going to get started. That's how I accomplish something, and I'll figure it out and fix it later."

There's good and bad to that.

Sometimes you create something that takes more fixing than if you had thought it through a little bit.

But that's why I've enjoyed this one so much.

Again, you're supposed to be bad at first.

If you're trying something new, it's okay not to be perfect at it.

Don't beat yourself up.

Don't feel guilty.

Every expert was once a beginner.

Every single person who's become an expert at anything was once a beginner at it, and they weren't very good at it either.

Here's the two-word phrase I want you to remember and get out of today's episode:

Start anyway.

Don't worry about failing.

Don't worry about messing something up.

Figure out a small step you can start with and start anyway.

So what if you're going to mess it up?

I've also learned over time, because my tendency is to jump into action first, to think about the downside of the first step.

I do research and think things through, but usually I don't have an action problem.

I'll usually jump right into action.

What I've learned over time is to ask: What if I could design a first step or a first action that, even if I fail miserably, it doesn't kill me, kill the business, or kill the whole project?

I've done that more as I've gotten older and gained more experience.

I'm getting ready to jump in.

I'm going to start this business, start this goal, or whatever.

What's one thing I can do that I might fail miserably at and it'll still be okay?

I can learn something from it and get better the next time.

That's been very helpful to me.

Sometimes I'll start something and things will go great.

Sometimes I'll start something and fall flat on my face.

That's the thing.

Sometimes you're supposed to be bad at first.

Don't expect yourself to be an expert.

I read a very good book several years ago by Jocko Willink called Discipline Equals Freedom.

Every once in a while, I'll be having a business problem and talk to one of my kids.

They know I really like this book.

I've bought them both copies of it.

They know some of it.

I'll really be struggling with something, and one of them will say, "You know what? Jocko says good."

That helps me snap out of it.

This is what it means to me.

In the book, Jocko talks about things not going right or not having what you need before you get started.

He's trained himself to say, "Good. Let's do it anyway."

So to me, that's a trigger.

"Jocko says good."

Things are terrible.

Things aren't going right.

I don't know what I'm doing.

This is not working out.

I'm failing.

I don't have what I need.

"Jocko says good. Do it anyway."

Of course, this isn't for every single situation in your life.

You've got to be smart.

I'm talking about business and life success and things like that.

I'm not talking about things that will literally kill you.

Public service announcement: if something could literally kill or maim you, you probably need to think that through before you jump into action.

I'm not telling you to go out and do dangerous and stupid stuff.

What I'm talking about is mostly business, and in life when you're trying to get ahead or succeed.

You're not supposed to be an expert at first.

I do a lot of speaking now.

Here I am on camera, recording episodes and things like that.

Some people struggle with public speaking.

They struggle with, "What if I mess this up? What if people don't like me?"

That's a trained thing.

I was trained from a very young age not to be afraid of getting up in front of people and messing up.

Lord knows I've messed up plenty of times.

I've messed up in front of big audiences, little audiences, and on recordings.

Some people don't like me.

Some people do like me.

Most people fall in the middle.

They can learn something from me and really don't care one way or the other.

I've accepted all of that, and that's fine.

I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

No one is everyone's cup of tea.

This is all a mental battle you fight if you need to get up in front of people and give presentations, speak, or be recorded.

That's not what this episode is about.

Maybe someday I'll do an episode about that and give you some pointers.

The point is that if I had never gotten up in front of people and started speaking, making mistakes, and learning, I would never be able to do this today.

I wouldn't be able to give seminars today.

I wouldn't be able to be a business consultant or a Life Systems consultant.

I wouldn't be able to do those things.

But I started anyway.

I took my lumps.

I got better.

Years ago, way back at the beginning of my speaking career, I would script everything.

I would write every single word down that I was going to say because I was terrified I'd get up there, forget something, get off track, and they'd laugh at me.

Sometimes I would get off track.

Sometimes I still get off track.

Sometimes I still get laughed at.

That's fine.

It's not about me.

I've learned it's about the audience.

It's about you.

Can you still get something out of it?

Now, when I do something and they laugh at me because I've made a mistake or whatever, I've learned how to turn that into a learning experience or continue.

I've learned to laugh at myself in those situations.

Sometimes that helps.

Sometimes it breaks the ice and gets the audience in a better position to learn and get what I'm trying to give them.

I used to write down everything.

I'd script everything.

Then I learned I didn't need everything.

I learned that having everything scripted actually hurt me because I was reading every word and sounded like a robot.

I don't have the most eloquent voice anyway.

I talk a little bit slow.

I sound Southern.

Some people don't care for my accent.

Whatever.

I'm not a great technical speaker.

But I learned that I can't just read word for word.

It gets even worse.

I put people to sleep.

So I started shortening the script.

Now, almost always, no matter how big the presentation is, I have everything on an index card or less.

All I need now is the highlights.

If I get off track, I can glance at my index card and it pulls me right back to where I was.

It's just a short outline.

That's come from experience.

That's an example of how I was bad at first.

Some people still think I'm bad.

But there are plenty of people who don't, which helps me.

I know that I help some people because I've dealt with a lot of audiences and a lot of people.

I've done a lot of seminars and training.

I can see how I'm able to help a lot of people.

Experience has shown me that I don't have to be perfect.

I'm still not perfect, and I probably never will be perfect.

But the key point is I never let that stop me from trying to help people.

Eventually, I got better at it.

Again, I'm not an expert at public speaking.

I'm an expert in some things, but I'm not a public speaking expert.

I'm public-speaking good enough.

There are a few speakers out there who are smooth as can be.

But some of the best people I've ever learned from were not smooth as could be.

They'd say "uh," just like I do sometimes, and they'd think.

But the point was they knew how to deliver value that was above what they might have lacked in great speaking.

That's just an example.

It can apply to things far outside of speaking.

It can relate to just about anything you're trying to do in your life.

Beginners are supposed to be inexperienced.

Give yourself permission not to be great at the beginning.

It's not a failure.

It's learning.

Skill comes from repetition, practice, and experience, not from waiting until you feel qualified.

If I had waited until I felt qualified to do any sort of public speaking, I never would have started.

Comparing your start or beginning to someone else's mature skill level messes with your mind.

When I first started, I did compare myself to experienced speakers.

I beat myself up and thought, "I'm never going to be that good."

That tried to stop me from continuing.

I didn't let it.

Don't do that.

Don't compare whatever you're trying to do or accomplish as a beginner to someone who's been doing it for years or decades.

Early mistakes are feedback you can use to get better.

You're building repetition and experience.

When you struggle, don't look at it as a failure.

Look at it as something you can learn from and improve the next time.

Build more experience.

Get better every time.

Make the first version small enough that embarrassment or imperfection cannot stop you.

Try to figure out the first step that, even if it fails miserably, doesn't kill the whole project or kill you.

The only path to experience is to actually get started.

Take action.

That's how you get better.

So that's my challenge to you today.

Don't worry about being bad at something the first time.

Every expert was once a beginner.

Start anyway.

Wes with Your Life Systems.

Thanks for being with me.

Please like, subscribe, and we'll see you soon.

What's Next?

·        Choose one skill, project, or goal you've delayed because you are not good at it yet.

·        Define a first attempt that is small enough to survive an imperfect result.

·        Take the step before you feel fully qualified.

·        Treat mistakes as feedback about what to improve next.

·        Compare yourself to your last repetition, not to someone else's years of experience.

·        Repeat the process until experience starts replacing uncertainty.

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